Navigating Daily Routines (without the meltdowns)

As parents, we're hardwired to want our children to be happy. The sheer joy on their face when we say "yes" to an ice cream cone, a new toy, or five more minutes at the playground can be intoxicating. Conversely, we can recoil from saying "No". The inevitable whine, the heartbroken stare, or the full-blown supermarket meltdown that "no" triggers can make use feel like we're failing. But what if the problem isn't the word "no", but how we view it's purpose? In a world that increasingly values comfort and convenience, saying "no" is sometimes seen as rigid or unloving. But, what if I tell you the opposite is true? When used intentionally, the word, "no" is one of the most loving, necessary, and developmentally supportive tools a parent has. It isn't a barrier; it's a foundation! The Power of Boundaries Let's think of boundaries as the safety rails on a high balcony. If the balcony had no rails, you'd walk with fear, unsure where the edge was. With rails, you are free to play and explore the entire space because you know exactly where you are safe. Children, especially young ones, naturally want to test limits. They want to know where the edge of their "balcony" is. Think about it this way, when you say, "No, you cannot jump on the couch" you are setting a safety boundary. Or, when you tell your child, "No, we're not buying a toy today" you are setting a value boundary. Without these limits, children can become anxious, demanding, and overwhelmed, constantly searching for the structure that isn't there. Building Emotional Muscle: The Role of Frustration As parents, we typically avoid saying "no" to avoid an emotional fallout. We don't want our kids to feel sad, angry, or disappointed. However, discomfort is part of life. By saying "yes" to avoid a tantrum, we are effectively robbing our children the chance to learn critical coping skills such as how to handle disappointment. Keeping them from experiencing frustration is similar. If they never learn to navigate hearing "no" for something simple like getting desert after dinner, how will they have the coping skills or resilience to handle a major "no" later in life (such as not making the school spots team, or rejection from a close friend)? When we say "no" we are telling our children "It's okay to be disappointment and frustrated." How can we "no" successfully? This is hard. How can we do say "no" without turning our home into a constant battleground? You can do this by being consistent and also showing empathy. Try to be firm and not angry. Your tone matters. When you are angry, your child may focus on your emotion rather than the boundary. Be sure to speak in a clam, matter-of-fact voice. "It's time to turn off the TV." It's okay to validate how your child may be feeling as well. You can say "no" while acknowledging the emotion the behind it. This is a crucial distinction. Try following up with: "I know you're disappointed that we can't buy that toy. It's hard to want something and not get it." This shows your child you are on their team, even while holding firm boundaries. If saying "no" is hard, you can always follow it up with something that your child can have or do. This teaches your child that "no" isn't always a bad thing. For example you can say "No, you can't have a cookie right now, but you can have crackers or a cheese stick for a snack". Another good tip is to avoid going back-and-forth with your child. The best strategy is to calmly say "no" once and don't give into negotiations. This helps you to be consistent and can make it easier for your child to understand your boundaries in the future. Examples may include your child asking if they can have another cookie when you told them they could just have one. They may say "Can I just have one more? Please?" You respond with "No, I said just one" Child: "Just this time, please?" You: "No, we're finished with cookies. Let's find something else we can do". Remember that you are not a bad parent if your child shows disappointment after you say "no". You are a good parent who is prioritizing their safety, security, and long-term resilience over temporary happiness. Saying "no" is hard. And it requires patience and backbone, as it's always easier to give in. But you aren't parenting for today; you're parenting for the adult they will become. Next time you must say, "no", remember, you are not being mean. You are building a safe space! Do you find yourself struggling with boundary setting? Our parent training programs provide specific, individualized strategies to help you implement limits that reduce conflict and foster your child's independence. Reach out to use today by clicking on the contact tab or emailing us at info@risingstaraba.com. Our services don't just stop at parent training programs, we also offer in home, school, and community based ABA services. If you're in need of services, send us a message. We're able to provide services to the following areas in Colorado: Arvada, Broomfield, Westminster, Wheat Ridge, Golden, Lakewood, Lafayette, Louisville, N. Denver, North Glenn, and Superior. - Star London, M.Ed, BCBA

Whether you are just starting your ABA journey or looking for more consistency across your child's day, Rising Star Behavior Services is here to help! We believe that every child deserves to feel successful and understood, no matter where they are. Interested in our services? If you have questions about our programs, insurance, or how ABA can benefit your child, we'd love to connect. We offer a warm, pressure-free environment to discuss your family's unique needs. Looking for day-care specific support? If your child is currently enrolled in a local daycare and you feel they could benefit from specialized strategies for a professional consultation to help with classroom dysregulation, let's talk. We can work directly with your child's educators to ensure they have the tools and resources to support your little one's success during the school day. Service area : We are currently focusing our ABA services in the following areas, Arvada, Westminster, Golden, Broomfield, and Wheat Ridge. Let's work together to help your child shine!

It's been a few years since our last update here on the blog, and while our website have been quiet, we have been anything but! A lot has changed, but as we look around at the families we serve and the progress our clients have made, one thing reminds the same: our dedication to helping every individual reach their full potential. What's New at Rising Star? Since our last update, we've been been hard at work behind the scenes. We've grown in ways we never imagined: Expanded Team: We've welcomed new Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBAs) and Registered Behavior Technicians (RBTs) who bring fresh energy and expertise. Enhanced Programs: Our services have expanded past 1:1 ABA services and now include a parent training only model as well as providing more supports in day-cares and school based support. Community Roots: We are more committed than ever to our community, partnering with local schools and organizations to create a more inclusive environment. Expanded Reach Across the Front Range: As our team of dedicated BCBAs and RBTs has grown over the last few years, so has our ability to support families outside of our immediate area. Currently we are able to provide in-home and community-based services in Arvada, Westminster, Wheat Ridge, Golden, Superior, Broomfield, North Glenn, and North Denver. By bringing our team directly to these communities, we hope to make life a little easier for the families we serve in and around Jefferson County. Our Continued Promise. We're committed to being a better resource for our digital community. Moving forward, you can expect this blog to be a hub for: 1. Actionable ABA strategies for parents. 2. Updates on local events 3. Spotlights on our incredible team and the milestones of our learners. With a larger team and an expanded reach into Jefferson County, North Denver Metro, and beyond, we are currently accepting new clients for in-home and community based services. If you're looking for a partner in your child's development, there's never been a better time to contact us. Feel free to email us at info@risingstaraba.com. Let's start this next chapter together!

For this reason, Premack Principle is often referred to as “Grandma’s Rule”. This is because Grandmas are really good at reminding their grand kids, for instance, that they can’t have their deserts if they don’t finish their vegetables! In other words, grandma is able to increase the chances of their grand kids finishing their vegetables if she makes cake available afterwards. What do you think would happen if she offered cake first? That’s right, you wouldn’t expect their grand kid to eat all of their peas!

At Rising Star Behavior Services you will find a team of individuals who will work with your family needs to make sure your child receives the individualized attention they need in order to be successful.

Joint Attention happens when two people share interest in an object or event. This may typically be done through eye gazes, or verbal and non-verbal communication. Some examples of verbal communication may come in the form of gasps or even using statements such as “Look at this!”. The most common form of joint attention done through non-verbal communication is pointing. Typically when a child sees something of interest they may point at, or towards, the object which brings attention to it so that others may share in their excitement!

As a way to give back to the community, Rising Star Behavior Services is offering a free potty training workshop to any family who may benefit. It will be held at the Boulder County Library on Saturday February 23 between 12 – 1pm.

I am very excited to speak about our gift idea, Find It. It’s one of my favorites to use in ABA sessions and it can be a fun toy for any child! Find It is basically a portable treasure hunt for your kid. Hidden within the pellets are about 40 different objects, and the goal is to try and find each object by shaking the Find It capsule. Watch as objects appear and disappear with each shake! This can keep a child entertained for awhile as they try and find all 40 objects!